Singaporean Taxi Drivers

In any major metropolitan city, hailing a taxi to get you to your destination of choice is a daily norm. Singapore is no exception to this. However, one will quickly learn the perils of using a taxi service in the Lion City. There are a few things that everyone, both visitors and residents alike, should know when calling for a cab.

1. The taxi driver will not know how to get you to your destination.

Think that it should be a requirement that all taxi drivers take a test that ensures they know their way around the city? If you answered yes, we are on the same page. Singaporean taxi drivers, however, are not on the same page as you and I. In fact they aren't even in the same book as us. While I'm in the book of Get Me Where I Need to Go As Quickly As Possible Without Telling You How To Get There, the taxi drivers here are in the book of If You Don't Know How To Get There, Why Did You Get In My Cab? Let me tell you, I'm not a huge fan of the latter book. Enter Google Maps. I swear, I don't know how people used to find their way around when lost before Google Maps. It has been the best aid in getting me around Singapore when I've been lost, and that has been a lot! 

2. The taxi driver will not care for your well being.

I can officially cross off being in an accident in a taxi off of my list of things to do. I was on my way to meet a friend on Sentosa (an island off of Singapore) and to no surprise the taxi driver didn't know how to get me to my final destination. I used my trusty aid Google Maps to find the way and we were off! However, navigating your way around Sentosa at night is really difficult because the service is spotty and the roads are all intertwined without a lot of signage. When I politely told the driver that we had missed the turn that we were supposed to take, he slammed on the brakes and shifted the taxi in to reverse. I'm all about a sense of urgency and efficiency ("why keep driving until we reach a street that we can safely turn around on?" he probably thought to himself) but safety is also important. Well, to me at least. My driver failed to look to see if anyone else (pedestrian, vehicle, animal) was in the way, speedily started to reverse, and SLAM! We crashed right in to another taxi. The worst part was that I saw it coming and couldn't do a thing to stop it except brace myself between the window and the head-rest in front of me. The driver got out of the car without asking if I was okay, and began surveying the damage. The taxi I was in and the one behind us were so entangled, both drivers couldn't separate them.  

What transpired next was sheer comedy. My taxi driver, the one that was responsible for the accident, began to yell at the other driver for getting in the way! I'm sorry, did I miss something? Was it not you who reversed on a one way street? Was it not you who failed to listen to your passenger in the first place when she told you the turn was coming up? Oh, wait... it was you! I must admit, I was a bit scared to get out when all I could was this...

Mind you, my driver failed to turn the meter off and by the time I decided to get out of the taxi the meter was up to S$42.50. I asked if he could call for another taxi as I had no idea where in the jungle I was, and there was no service. His response was, "No! I cannot! No phone!" Ohhhhh, okay. How silly of me to think that he would have a phone. It's only 2011. The next logical option would be a radio to transmit to taxi headquarters to call for a back-up taxi, right? Nope. No radio, no walki-talkie, no Morse Code, and dare I dream no Bat-Phone. Here I am, stranded in the middle of NO WHERE. I'm on the phone with the taxi service desperately trying to explain where I am, when I see a faint green light in the distance. Thank God! It's an unoccupied taxi! I explain to the driver what happened and he agrees to take me back to the city. Call me crazy but at this point the last thing I wanted to do was try to get to the beach bar. As I am about to get in, my lunatic taxi driver starts running towards me screaming, "You! YOOOUUUU! You must pay the fare!" WTF?! Is he serious? Yup, he was dead serious. I explained that 1. He tried to kill me, 2. He failed to stop the meter, and 3. I shouldn't have to pay when he didn't deliver me to my final location. All of this fell on deaf ears. I threw S$20 at him and got in the new cab and told my new driver to go. Clearly, there is no regard for a passenger's well being.

3. Don't be alarmed if your taxi driver has an attitude.

As seen in points 1 and 2 above, clearly the customer is not always right. Do not be offended if your driver gets irritated that you want to pay with a visa or a large bill. I've learned that I will not let a taxi driver ruin my mood or moreover my day. It's just not worth it. 

For every taxi driver out there that has a huge attitude for no reason, there is one that will make you laugh and enjoy your ride. Like Feng Hew (my driver from a few nights ago) who tried to sing MoTown's greatest hits to me once he found out I was from the States. Why MoTown? Beats me, but hearing "Super Freak" By Rick James and "Hello" by Lionel Richie in an Asian accent is enough to keep me happy.